Takora! Takora!

Friday, 1 February 2019

Fibromyalgia and other adventures.

I don't often write about myself, so lets see how this turns out.

In the middle of 2017 I left my job to concentrate full time on my artwork. I packed up my life and moved to Bristol. I had partially chosen to leave my life as a chef because it was beginning to take its toll on my body. I was constantly aching and always seemed tired. I thought the move and change of pace would reinvigorate me.
By the end of 2017 I was in more pain and just as full of fatigue as before. I was finding it hard to draw and was struggling with my mental health as a result. This lead to months of doctors appointments and waiting lists.
By the middle of 2018 I finally had a diagnosis, Fibromyalgia. I was overjoyed that I had a name for all the aches and pains i had been feeling but the joy didn't last long as the reality of what the diagnosis meant set in. There's not a lot to help Fibro suffers, there are medications, none of which are guaranteed to help you more than hinder you, some small lifestyle changes that may benefit suffers and the recommendation of taking it easy and having lots of hot baths. As someone who has always been pretty active it has been a jarring experience, trying to find a balance between what my brain wants to do and what my body can do. I found the most help from online forums like r/Fibromyalgia on reddit and from reading studies on the web. I've also found it terribly frustrating to explain to people what it means for my day to day life as the condition is so changeable. Lady Gaga's documentary Joanne helped immensely as many people i have spoken to have seen it so even if they don't remember the name of the condition they remember seeing a high profile individual dealing with the daily symptoms.

Because of the difficulties I've come across with my normal style of drawing I've started to experiment with other mediums and revisited some old projects too. I found that with watercolours I can express myself with less stress on my wrists (my main and constant source of pain). I have begun to play with polymer clay again, creating little balls of colour and building them into runcible artworks and pieces of jewellery. Moving the focus away from what i can't do to what i can do has allowed me to continue being creative even when i'm not feeling strong.

Making the artwork is only part of the job as an artist (and as you can imagine it's my favourite part) but the other parts of the business are super important. The combination of fatigue (plus the associated brain fog) and the anxiety of putting myself out there I have really struggled to find avenues to sell my work. Finding the energy to run a stall somewhere is currently out of my grasp. I use the website redbubble which has made me a number of sales but i make only small percentage from each sale which makes the whole endeavour fairly unprofitable. I worked on a few private commissions which have been a fantastic experiences and have boosted my confidence but not really bolstered my bank balance.
My hope is that as i find better ways of dealing with my new limitations i will find new ways of sharing and selling my work too.

Thursday, 21 July 2016

Out of Darkness

Like many people I struggle with my mental health. There are many ways to battle these issues, when I find myself feeling particularly lonely or blue I'll draw little doodles with lots of details. These re-focus me in the moment and help me to get on with my daily life.